Thursday, October 12, 2006

Found Art

(compiled from subjects of junk emails)

Mrs. McCoy, compunction made!
You cumm too quickly and without control.
Don't let others beat you fighting for this bread
Man-made incorporated, lovliness, honor roll.

Decrepit experimental communication
Imagery hidden, successively.
We know it'll go off tomorrow contain
Theses, bridgeport ancillary .

New and hot housing profit sharing,
It will go to the sky tomorrow.
Baby boom mayor, see you at the mounting.
Cautiously dollar, bulging owe.

Have all delights using this wonderful product!
when to stop blogging until summer for.
Re: your letter darzell, was no optic
not fit computer, impunity of the world.


That was inspired in part by those crazy cats over at Gun Tamga, and this feller helped nudge it into existence too.

But like most of my, um, pretensions, I can probably thank Mad magazine at the bottom of it all. It would thrill me to get my hands on an online archive of classic Mad articles. Writing this "poem" reminded me of a sixties vintage article (from my aunt's stash probably) satirizing the advertising industry. It postulated future highways so crowded by billboards that they all ran into one another, achieving some kind of accidentally grandiloquent ur-marketing message. Which is a lot of words to describe a silly one-panel cartoon.

Here's what I got 20 years after the fact from memory. If anyone can fill in the missing lines, I'd be grateful for another 20 years.

Treat your cat to Miller Lite
Turtle Wax makes dentures bright
Cutty Sark protects your car
Levi's give you lower tar
Banish gray with roll-on Ban
Keds. now in a twelve ounce can!
[something something Quaker State?]
Ex-lax makes the going great!



Anonymous said...

I've been missing one of the brand names (I think it might be Cutty Sark- thanks!). I was looking for it when I found your blog entry. Here's what I recall (along with it being 70s-80s era, rather than 60s):

Treat your cat to Miller Lite
Chlorox bleach gets dentures bright
Turtle Wax stops jock itch fast
Tootsie Rolls are built to last
Cutty Sark protects your car
Levis give you lower tar
Banish grey with roll on Ban
Keds now in a six ounce can
Chevy's got a lighter smoke
Cleaner people bathe with Coke
Schlitz for those who watch their weight
And Ex-Lax makes the going great

Keifus said...

Well, thank goodness for email notification.

Growing up, the old Mads were stuffed in tattered, coverless piles in various places around the house. Not only did I remember the wrong decade, looks like, but combined a couple lines.


Christine Sheil said...

This is GREAT!! I have had lines from this stupid "poem" in my head most of my life and I NEVER thought anyone else would even know what I was talking about it. I think when I was like 10 I tried to memorize it. Amazing how things stick with you! This and and "Super Spectacular Day" record that came with an issue in 1980. I was kinda obsessed with knowing all of the endings. Despite this, I did grow up to be a productive and somewhat normal person! Ha ha!