Wednesday, June 20, 2007

And in local news...

You shouldn't ever watch local netweork news. I have my doubts about the local paper too, but at least there I can find out when the bake sales are, and get the gist of the ineffectual process hurdles thrown up in the fight against Wal-Mart. TV news is just a wasteland in general, and you can bet that when the Boston networks deign to add some local flavor from the burbs, it's the most irrelevant sort of filler. (Kind of like this post. Sorry.) Two nights ago I was watching the tube with my wife: the lead story (presumably people are still killing one another in Iraq) was about some nearby man who bought counterfeit Colgate, possibly tainted with diethylene glycol. Not to worry, he feels fine, but he's awfully concerned about children possibly brushing with it. So was Fox, I guess, if by "children" you mean "ratings".

If I can't get edification, then at least give me humor. If you want to spot the faux dentifrice, there are various misspellings on the label. The stuff that doubles as an engine coolant is "for adolt use only." After all, what sort of person is dying highlight his pigeonhood to the masses?

"Normally, I'm a Tom's of Maine guy," he said no less than three times (old joke: if they invented it elsewhere, they'd call it teethpaste), as if that's exculpatory. Maybe he was a shill--I suppose I could forgive that.


twiffer said...

seems like he was keen to let people know he didn't usually shop at the dollar store. no, really! cause he usually buys fancier teethpaste.

Keifus said...

That sounds likely. I fear that his attempt at preserving his dignity was an even a more spectacular failure than I first realized.